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You wouldn’t believe it, Jessie J states. There she was gearing up for her comeback record in nearly a decade, blissfully happy with her recent boyfriend, and finally the parent to a young child after dealing with conception issues for a decade, feeling invincible. Then in spring she was found to have cancer in her breast.

The musician, actual name J. Cornish, is known for telling it as it is. The LP, the provocatively titled album, was supposed to be an candid account, dealing with every moment of pain she’d experienced since she last worked on songs (endometrial issues, miscarriage, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with her usual frankness. The first single, her single No Secrets, was released in the spring. But by then there was a mighty secret. The cancer. Then follow-up track, Living My Best Life, came out in May and the artist was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while all the while coping with breast cancer. Four weeks after she shared the news, and in July she underwent breast removal surgery.

She offers me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I put out with a song called No Secrets. I’m doing every media appearance, and they ask, ‘Any updates?’ and I respond, ‘Uh, nothing really’” the singer has just had to postpone shows because she’s awaiting reconstructive surgery.

We meet at a photo studio in London. She is dressed in a tan faux-leather coat, blue jeans with elaborate white patches, off-white boots and oversized specs. Imagine biker chic meets 70s singer aesthetic. “As if I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” Like the film, I say, recalling the film. “I was nicknamed that in school!” She beams. She is quick, irreverent and direct. She says she has always been interested in humor and is planning to attempt her initial standup show soon. “I enjoy humor. During performances I frequently joke about the crowd.”

Health Struggles and Diagnosis

The artist was getting ready for an slot at the awards show when she discovered a mass. “I promptly visited to get it looked at, had an ultrasound, and they were, like, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I insisted, ‘However, it’s there. I’ve got an achy arm and numbness in my fingers whenever I rise.’ And they said, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The physician told her if it was concerning she’d contact on the start of the week. By then Cornish had assured herself it was nothing. The way she describes it, it was just bad timing to face illness when she had many commitments.

“It was a fortnight prior from releasing the album after eight years without an album and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I assumed, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I log in thinking it’s all going to be positive, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she continues, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your biopsy results have shown aggressive cancer.’” What was your reaction? “I answered, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. The timing is terrible.’ My initial thought was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”

Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am

She viewed the procedure frightening and surreal. “I dislike anesthesia. They walk you down. During crises you are wheeled, but then I just walked with a gown on and my backside out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been lucky. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the surgery. “Cancer is awful, but you know what? I’m grateful it was caught soon. The surgery happened recently and my right breast now looks like a fruit under fabric.” Another grin. “The nipple was preserved.”

The subsequent surgery is for health and appearance. Her breasts, she notes, are now “different sizes. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. How rude! I thought, no need to bully me, I’m already having a rough time. Such disrespect! Ironically I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. My plans were disrupted.”

Previous Struggles

She is accustomed to medical issues. She believes her outlook on her diagnosis has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in medical emergencies. Frequently they align with peak moments, serving as a tap on the shoulder, or blow, to make her recall not to be complacent. “Truly, I feel fate says, ‘Enjoying yourself? Sit down.’ Ever since I was a child, it has often paired with moments of success for me; something severe or obscure has happened to my health.”

She recalls to her 11-year-old self, already making her debut performing in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was selected at the age of nine years old). That’s when she was told about the heart condition WPW, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as vertigo and irregular beats. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an intravenous line, and returning to the hospital at night.” She skips forward several years, and young Jessica has entered the female band Soul Deep while enrolled in the academy. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a brain incident. Then when I was about to put out music in recently I had a automobile accident and my throat was injured and I was unable to vocalize for a long period.”

Wow, I say, slow down, I am overwhelmed. At just 17? She nods|agrees